In case you were wondering, this is not an ad for Burger King nor was it sponsored by Burger King. I just thought this picture would be fitting for today since I feel like I deserve to be a f@$&ing QUEEN after this week. I have never been so diplomatic, even-keeled, and benevolent. Please, applaud me, pat me on the back, and give me that crown. It’s well-deserved.
Navigating through a dysfunctional family is never an easy feat, but somehow, I managed through it. I love them to death, but sometimes they drive me utterly insane and makes me think that I should have a therapist on speed dial.
I was afraid that this week was going to be tough since my mom and I had some heated exchanges last week and even up to the night before they got here. Somehow, though, we floated through and went back to being frenemies – more friends than enemies, though. Ninjette helps a lot because she is irresistible to love. She melts even the toughest of hearts and always breaks the ice with laughter, joy, and a lot of loving. When I see her like that, I feel like I must’ve done something a little right with her.
I’ve learned a lot about family this week. I learned that you can’t pick and choose who will be your family. You also can’t control how they will be or how the relationship will be. Family is disappointing at times and can hurt you in ways that you never knew you could hurt. If you enter in to your family thinking that you are there to get something out of it, you really shouldn’t. Family is not about taking, but it’s more about giving – of grace, of forgiveness, of lots of room, of understanding. You’ve got to accept them as who they are – they are who they are.
There are times, where you will want to walk away from your family, but no matter how far you walk away, they are still your family. They aren’t going anywhere. You’re stuck with them.
The best that I can do is to just stick it out with them and not to hold too tightly to them, but to give them some room to breathe and grow on their own. I’ve also thrown out the ideal of what I think is the “perfect” family and the “perfect” relationship with my parents. It’s okay that it’s all messed up and sometimes downright chaotic.
And at the end of the week, here we are – a sloppy, topsy-turvy, and messy family. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we laugh because of it. But on this Friday, I’m reminded, again, that we are family and this is the one I’ve been given. I take all the good and all the bad of it because it’s a part of me – a part of who I have become. So today, I’m going to give myself a thumbs up because I did a pretty damn good job of being a part of this family this week.