“The Gambler” Phyllisophy

“You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.”

I LOVE THIS SONG. I love this song so much, that I used to play it to little Ninjette when she was a baby quite often. I felt like she would be prepared for life pretty well if she had this song in her head! Don’t you think?

When I first heard this song, I don’t think I really understood the meaning behind it. I just really liked Kenny Rogers along with Anne Murray, The Carpenters, and some of those other old school crooners. It wasn’t until after I graduated college and I heard this song again that the meaning dawned on me.

Recently, though, this song popped back in to my head as I was in the midst of trying to make a decision and I was feeling many twinges of failure and defeat. I try really hard to be successful at everything that I do, but there are times where I just fail. Usually, when I do fail, I take some moments to reflect on what happened, try to learn from it, and then move on. However, if someone has said to me, “Oh you are so good at this and that. It makes sense that you are doing this” and then I fail, I have a hard time admitting to the fact that I just fell flat on my face for this one. It shakes my confidence and makes me doubt myself in a big way.

It also doesn’t help when these things happen in succession. Multiple endeavor failures or instances of feeling like a failure that happen one after the other really bites. And well, that’s where I am right now. I’ve never been good of letting things go and waving the white flag. I am also quite terrible at asking for help. It’s been humiliating and humbling.

So I turned to Kenny and his song. It reminded me that growing up and learning more about yourself means you have to know when to walk away. It means that it’s ok to say, “I’ve messed up. I’ve failed.” There is no disgrace from admitting this, dusting yourself off and getting up again.

It’s so hard, but I think it’s time to fold ‘em and walk away – with my head held high, in humility and without shame.

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